AdvantEdge Joy@Work Podcast:
AdvantEdge Joy@Work Podcast:

Episode 122 · 2 months ago

Top 10 Reasons You Don’t Need Coaching

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

The Purpose of this AdvantEdge Guide is to help you make better, informed decisions as you consider coaching to develop yourself or your team and organisation. There’s a lot of very convincing marketing out there that coaching is a panacea for all that ails business and organisation. 

Your Payoff will be you can understand for yourself, if coaching is suitable for you, and what type or style of coaching might best suit your needs. You’ll also challenge some of the common assumptions that you may have been making.

The truth is, coaching is not for everybody, and there are very good reasons. Here’s the top 10 I hear from clients, in reverse order and coming in at number 10, but still a biggie:

For the Full AdvantEdge Guide, all the links mentioned in the podcast and easy access to the (free!) resources mentioned, please go to the AdvantEdge Coaching System Website here.

Because of this advantage. Guide is to help you make better informed decisions as you consider coaching to develop yourself or your team and organization. There's a lot of very convincing marketing out there. Coaching is a panacea for all that ails business and organizations, your payoff or be You can understand for yourself if coaching is suitable for you and what type or style of coaching might best suit your needs. You'll also challenge some of the common assumptions they may have been making. The truth is coaching is not for everybody, and there are very good reasons. Is the top ten I hear from clients in reverse order and coming in at number ten, but still a biggie m h. It's expensive. Yes, I was a little shock that this wasn't further up the list. An average coaching engagement can cost you a hundred to four D and most coaches want you to buy at least an hour every week. A good coach will cost you five D and upwards per hour, and the guru coaches plot a coach for a senior leader in an organization will charge upwards of eighteen thousand a year for their services, and that's probably online. So coaching, even a cheaper coach can become expensive. In fact, if the alley rate is really of some coaching we charged less than fifty, well, then you want to be even more care Hiring and decent coach with qualifications which are important but not always essentially and experience which is utterly vital will cost money and a fair amount that for an organization. Coaching appears to be more expensive than training events, but then HR rarely count the cost of having not achieved the objectives after multiple training and educational events. And if I can be so bold, if you don't invest your own harder money in your development, there's a very high chance that you won't follow through. You have to make sure you get a good return on your investment. Coaching is expensive, so make sure that you've got a good return on you and you want to guarantee for your coaching. Basically, you want value for money. So how do you work out your return your value gain for the money? You shall out you need useful metrics for your coaching. So I've written a guide for you on how to ensure that you get a good return on your investment for coaching indissions and if it's not the expense. Perhaps it's reason number reason No. Nine, I'm not senior enough. Business and personal coaching is for more senior people leaders in business, you know, the one who have leader in their job title. Mm hmm. In many organizations, coaching is reserved for the senior leadership of the so called high potentials. So should be getting your company assigned a coach to help you learn how to lead once you get promoted to a senior leadership role. The reason the minor details that it's a little late to prepare to be a leader once you've been promoted. About your model throw, Yes, they should recognize the coaching for you would be greatly an official for the company, but...

...they haven't recognized that yet. Do you actually need a coach then? See many organizations consider coaching to be reserved for the upper echelons and fabily if you have a proper coaching or mentoring culture to support you and your development. Many find that coaching actually might not be the best option for you. And that could be true, so read this advantage guide and see if this is your best course of action. Now, do I need a coach? You'll find a link in the show notes. And if not, coaching some other form of development. But what's the difference? Well, read this chapter and find out if something other than coaching might be better for you. This guide post compares coaching with mentoring, counseling, managing, and so on. On the other hand, if it's not, the coaching is for the good people rather for those that are weak. There's always reasons. At number eight, we have I'm good enough. This reason is also known by its subtext, I don't have performance problems. Coaching in many organizations is for people who have problems. The coach is often called in to help fix the person in some way. And if you don't have problems, why on earth would you need to coach. You've been doing your job for years and get things done. Your boss has no complaints, your performance reviewers glowing. In fact, you are one of the better managers in the Are you sure about that? The change is the only constant and what you where you are today will not get you where you want to go tomorrow. Competition is fierce and there is no such thing as a permanent job. I've got a guy post for you. Find out if you are motivated to change, but if you should be considering coaching shouldn't your company you're paying for it? You know number seven? Why should you be paying from your own pocket when all the benefit of your increased performance goes to the company. It would be nice if your boss showed you their genuine appreciation for your efforts. And if coaching is right for you, then one way they could show this is to sponsor your coaching. Absolutely, But then perhaps you're not senior enough, or not one of the identified high potential, or perhaps your company doesn't think coaching is beneficial to their bottom line. It is probably right that your company should pay for your coaching, but they get a little scared that once coached, you'll get poached by the competitor and hence waste or that development expense. Incidentally, I charge a lot more for coaching when the company is paid. Why because when you don't personally invest in it, there's a much higher chance you won't follow through as enthusiastically. That means more chasing and more of my time spent to keep you progressing. Plus, the company usually expects me to come to your office more time, more expense, So can your manager approaching Your organization may not have a formal coaching or mentoring program in place, and your manager may or may not be able to coaching. It's helpful for you to understand the difference between being a coach...

...and being a manager. Read this guy post on comparing coaching with managing and discuss the possibilities with your own manager. Or maybe it's your boss really coming in at number six, mind boss needs coaching. You know that you could do a much better job than your boss as a leader. They are pretty ineffective and really do need coaching. The thing is, it's not actually your job to fix your leader. I mean, how many times have you tried already frustrating? Yes, So don't try to fix your leader. Your job is to add value, to take some of their burdens, add to their strengths, and after a while they will allow you to compensate their weakness. Or do you need to add value to your boss? I hear this a lot almost every workshop I run, and many of my perspective clients quickly tell me my boss should be doing this. It's probably true. Well, two things you can do that. Number one, share this advantage guide post and special report with them and let them decide for themselves. Number two, read the guide post on building rapport. It's written to help you build rapport with your coach, but it works on building rapport with anyone. If your leader won't change, change your attitude or your work address. But perhaps you can't change. That is h Yeah, you can't change. You know that something has to change, but you tried. You just can't change in the way you are supposed to, just how you are wired. Had your parents sent you to a better school, you would have had the same breaks and chances as the others, and climbing the ladder of success will be easy if you have the talent. It's too late for that. If you believe that you are hardwired and things really cannot change, you could do with an understanding of neuro genesis and ere a plasticity. You might even be surprised by yourself. If you think you can't change, you really really need to read this. You can change. In fact, you change daily. You might not want to, but you do. It's possible that you have been misled that you're personality and abilities are fixed. Read this advantage guy post in the links and adopt a gross mindset. But it's okay. I fully understand. Maybe other people will look at you with disdain. If you try and fail, that means you'd have to talk about number four. I don't like to talk about it. I've always been an introvert, somewhat shy. I know it shocks some people, but I am inside being shy and a little withdrawn. As a kid, hated talking about some real problems with parents, teachers, or anyone. I was always a little concerned about what they would think about me if I told them what was really going on inside of me. Maybe it's just me. There are times when I find it very difficult to talk about...

...what's going on in my head. It feels as if so I'm opening myself up to criticism. God forbid that they discover that I'm not perfect. So yes, talk about some things. He is tough, But when your coach cares about you, they don't judge. But surely coaching will dig into those psychological issues you seecrectly suspect, maybe lurking deep down inside. At times, my clients have felt like I was the docket of white coat probing their minds. On occasion, it's a little like being on the therapist couch. It can be uncomfortable to open up. You know that When you do, there's a flood of relief. Perhaps something else would be better for you. I understand talking about some things is difficult, especially with a stranger, but perhaps you should better understand the role of a coach and the role of others who could be helping you. Oh and by the way, all those crazy thoughts and feelings you're concerned about, I'll have that. I just thought that you should know. And that brings us rather neatly to reason number three. Reason number three coaches are all about soft If you're still considering coaching at this point, you know some of the discussions you have will be about feelings, especially those life. I mean, what's life got to do with work? Work is business, it's not personal. Coaching should focus only on improving performance of work. Okay. First, feelings are the tangible experiences you have in your body that are the result of neurochemicals being produced in your brain, which are triggered by your thinking. By discussing feelings, a good coach, at least one that understands how the human brain works, can track back to your thinking. Change your thinking and you change feelings. Second, your entire life matter. Consider, for example, how you perform at work, when you have an eed, do you get grouchy and snap at people? Or when your partner and you have an argument. Oh number three, what do you spend your day thinking about whilst you are at work? Or you get to a certain age and find that there's something missing in your life. You're not sure what, there's something just not there. And some are about driving your four months hard. It's true and a lot of coaches these days are a little fluffy. There are people who still think that the secret is the answer to everything. It's not. Many life coaches fall into the category of being a little nothing. So choose the sort of coach who you want to work with. It's a great little style indicator assessment you can use linked in the mode to help you know which is best for you. Talking about feelings doesn't have to be sentimental and guys weakness to strength to be able to talk about. And then there's a concern, well, if people know I'm being coached, They'll think I'm weak. The reasons for not coaching Number two. If people...

...know that I'm being coached, They'll think I'm weak. Mhm. My uncle Allen was a stern X Army captain, a disciplinarian, no holds barred type of man. He loved me deeply and gave me some of the best advice, and he told me, most people don't care about what you're getting up to what you're thinking. You know why, he asked me, I shook my dumb head, because whilst you're thinking about what they're thinking about you, they are spending their entire time thinking about what you are thinking about them. Yeah, you might want to rewind or reread a few times. Uncle Allen continued, But the people who do care about you, the people who love you well, they do care what's going on inside, not to judge, but to help if they can. So for those people that perchance do care about you sufficiently to think about you at all, they won't be thinking that you're weak. They will be admiring you for being braver than them. But then, if your boss sponsors you're coaching, won't that suggest that your boss thinks and you're weak. What? It might, But then it also might suggest that your boss thinks that you're great and you could be even better. Read about Tall Poppy syndrome and the story of the Madras crab. It's linked in the notes below. In part you're wrong. Very very few people are saying king about you, except to be thinking about what you think about them. However, there are people whose mission and life seems to be to pull others down, to stop you by fear and other tactics to prevent you from over reaching, and God forbid that you do better than then. Best advice is to ignore them. So read this guy post on tall poppy syndrome and the story of a Madrasaca. And finally to the number one reason you do not need coaching. If you've got the time, I'm too busy. You already have too many demands on your time, and good coaching requires you to spend more time and just a weekly, all month the hour with your If you really want to improve and the chief success, you'll have to work on it beyond that hour. War three and how that's time to that. Maybe you've just started a new job and you're spending more than enough time learning the rope, scrambling around the organizational politics, meeting new people, and doing a job you're not actually experienced it. You know that you're resumeary said that you were, you also know the truth. Or maybe you're looking for a job right now, a career coach just go slow you down. Or perhaps you've just started a new venture and as if starting in business wasn't time consuming enough without making time for personal development as well. You have a young baby or your kids need more time now that exams are approaching, well, your partner is demanding that you spend more time with them. There are a hundred things and a thousand people vying for your attention. You're all a distressed and a...

...little overwhelm. Coaching isn't the answer. You want someone who's going to fix your problems for you with a magic wand and quickly. Because we all have just twenty four hours a day, which is a hundred and six a week, and the only space left is to sleep less. But sleeping less is not good for you. Lack of time is the number one real enemy of you taking on coaching. Sure, many coaches will tell you that you can do this in just one hour per week, and some of them are not lying, but that's why they take ten years to get you anywhere. Personal change and development take time. There are no secret pills, there are no magic formula. Your brain can and does rewire new habits can be formed beliefs that limit you take time to be over. No silver bullets, no quick and easy solutions. It will not happen overnight. How busy do you need to be before you realize that you need to change? Yes, I understand it. You're busy and you will continue to be busy. In fact, as you become more successful and the higher up the organization, I find you'll get even busier. So number one, check whether you really need a coach. Number two, consider your objectives for developing yourself. And number three established clear metrics and work out if your time is going to give you a return on investment. And now it's time to review the ten reasons that you don't need coaching. The ten reasons you don't need coaching. The summarize and rapper summarize these top ten reasons people think that they don't need coaching. And if you're still here with me, I'll wrap up with a couple of cost free suggestions if you want to explore further. So here are the top ten reasons people think they didn't need coaching, in reverse order, coming in at number ten, it's too expensive. The real question is how expensive will it be if you don't change sustainably and develop yourself. And number nine, I'm not senior enough. Well, will you ever get to the seniority level? You need to warrant having a coach without having a coach to help you get there. Number eight I'm good enough. Yes. Coaching is often abused to fix people with problem performance, but it is better used to help good performers become great performance. Number seven the company should sponsor my coaching now. The difficulty with company sponsored coaching is clarity of the company and your own expectations and objectives. Number six my boss is the one who needs coaching. While this is almost certainly true, but learn from tennis champion ark Ash. Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can. And the top five I can't change, Well, I can't, won't or don't want to change. Number four I don't like to talk about it. Indeed, talking...

...about some things, especially with a stranger, can be difficult. Maybe it's easier with a stranger. Your coach, though, is not judging you, m They're only intent is to help you, I mean. Number three. Coaches are all about soft, fluffy feelings. Yes, some are, and they suit certain clients. Some of us are on the more neuroscience scientific side of things and robust psychology research, you get to choose the sort of coach you want to work. Beside that, number two, if people know I'm being coached, they'll think I'm weak. Believe me, the only thought running through their brain is questioning what you think about then and coming In Number one, I'm too busy, Yes you are. You want a silver bullet, a magic formula, a quick and easy solution. I'm sorry they don't exist, and please don't fall for the pundits who are flogging them all over the interview. Yes, coaching takes time, and good coaching requires you to work between sessions and put things into practice, albeit these action learning or homework are within your current job. Learning takes time, change takes time. Then one day you'll find things that used to steal your time are almost effortless. Did you enjoy it all? Still here? So, either the above reasons haven't put you off coaching, or none of these have sent you scurrying off to another website or maybe waiting for the sales pitch. Okay, no pitch. If you want coaching and you want to talk to me about it, you'll do so anyway, But maybe you still aren't sure. Well, I did write a book to help you. You don't even have to buy the book. You're very welcome to, of course, and you can find it in the links below, and I'd appreciate it if you did. I am offering you a gift to access my book for free. Part one is all about helping you make a good decision about coaching and who to work with if you do, and all you have to do is follow the links under each of the reasons. But may I recommend that you start here with the whole book. Buy your copy of the book and get yourself unstuck. Now, if you haven't gone through the chapters and the associated worksheets and the guide posts here, go back to each of these sections and do it now. Remember that applying best practices with discipline and consistency, even if the actual set steps seem try to obvious. I think he's what leads to results the great A guess it's a great day. I'm feeling all the possibilities of why I could doing the world that my finger taps my imagination based a smile up to my left, fascinating, I will be fast. Oh I'm about domestic. As the name's gone past, all opportunity is here for me. So come along and take your love, because I want you to see the world is yours look a little bit closer. If you want to come again, and you can...

...take it home, you can make you want Tomorrow's what you want them to be. You got the bottle and your hands to shape your history. You gotta take it up the lavel and go up high off of you. Then to take a turn out the fire. Come on to take a lit.

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