AdvantEdge Joy@Work Podcast:
AdvantEdge Joy@Work Podcast:

Episode · 3 years ago

LA 078: You Got The Power

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Encourage Your aptitude (your "natural" ability to do something) is thought by many people to be the main driver of their success. We raise people with those noticeable talents onto pedestals in a form of worship. Imagine yourself as a star soccer player, or the lead singer in your favourite band, an actor in an awesome movie. There are even some people who are simply famous at being famous. But everyday life for the vast majority of people isn't a movie. Our giftedness is a little less flashy and a little more humdrum. And almost every day we come across challenges and difficulties and it is how we face those challenges that sets us apart. Indeed, since Daniel Goleman's research for his landmark book, "Emotional Intelligence", others have gone on to reinforce that the "how" you approach challenges is far more important than what you actually do to resolve them, about 80/20. How you approach something is determined by your chosen attitude to the situation. And what matters here is that you can choose your attitude in spite of your initial feelings. And choosing a good attitude will improve your outcome and sets you above in the eyes of others. As Zig Ziglar originally shared, Your Altitude is determined more by your Attitude than your Aptitude. Develop: 5 Power Attitudes My own research shows that those who are most successful over the long term share three questions they ask themselves and five power attitudes they adopt, as if they were real, to face daily challenges successfully. In your brain, the process we are going to reframe whatever the problem, challenge or situation you observe. Like me and everyone else, when you come across a problem or challenging situation, your brain notes two key things: What is perceived to be happening or what is involved - the Content, and What is the setting in which this is happening - the Context. Both of which rely on your personal judgement and perception, which is influenced by your prior experience and memory and all of your personal, cognitive biases - which inform and shape your attitude to the situation. Successful and admired leaders pause a moment before judging the situation and consider different angles and approaches to help find the optimum solution, they deliberately adopt one or more of five power attitudes: Respect the OTHER person’s model of the world The meaning of your communication is the RESPONSE you get back People are NOT their behaviours People CAN change anything There is NO failure, only feedback 1. Respect the OTHER person's model of the world The way you and I view the world is different. Everyone looks at the world through a lens shaped by memory, experience, upbringing, values, beliefs, parents, exposure to media and etc. In the USA, political party affiliations are known to shape how someone interprets the same news about a speech by a presidential candidate. Religious beliefs often determine how one person views a situation compared with someone seeing exactly the same thing, but with a different belief. I'm not suggesting that they are right and you are wrong, nor am I daring to suggest that you should change your beliefs or affiliations. I am simply asking you to respect that they have their views and you have yours. They are as entitled to their perspective as you are to yours. I'm not even asking you to wear their shoes and imagine what the situation may look like if you shared their belief, their experiences. I am suggesting that you simply have due regard for their feelings, wishes, beliefs or rights. When you look at the situation now, you may find a better way to approach the challenge that may have greater chance of success for all concerned. Wear the attitude as if it were true and see how your greater empathy build more trust. 2. The meaning of your communication is the RESPONSE you get back "I just don't get it" she said to me. That was my fault. It wasn't that she was insufficiently able to make it happen, it wasn't that she hadn't listened

What's better today and welcome to the leadership advantage to podcast. I think Dr John Kenworthy. The leadership advantage isn't some magic pill or silver volunteer instant success as a leader. I'm sharing the art and neuroscience of having expert leadership unstuck your potential in life and work. Hey there, this is John K and welcome to this edition of the leadership advantage. Using their power attitudes because you got the power. Your aptitude, your natural ability to do something is thought by many people to be the main driver of their success. Maybe you think so. We raise people with those noticeable talents on to pedestals in a form of worship. Imagine yourself as a star soccer player or the lead singer in your favorite band and actor in an awesome movie. There are even some people who are simply famous and being famous. But everyday life the vast majority of people isn't a moving our giftedness is a little less flashy and a little more hum drum, and almost every day we come across challenges and difficulties, and it is how we face those challenges that sets US apart. Indeed, since Daniel Goldman's research for his landmark book emotional intelligence. Others have gone on to reinforce that that how you approach challenges is far more important than what you actually do to resolve them. But eight hundred twenty, how you approach something is...

...determined by your chosen attitude to the situation. And what matters here is that you can choose your attitude in spite of your initial feelings, and choosing a good attitude will improve your outcome and sets you above in the eyes of others. As Zig zigler originally shared, your altitude is determined more by your attitude than your aptitude. So let's develop the five power attitudes. My own research shows that those who are most successful over the long term share three questions they ask themselves and five power attitudes they adopt as if they were real, to face daily challenges successfully. In your brain, the process we are going to reframe is whatever the problem, challenge or situation you observe, like me and everyone else, when you come across a problem or a challenging situation, your brain note to key things what is perceived to be happening or what is involved, that's the content, and to what is the setting in which this is happening. The context, both of which rely on your personal judgment and your perception, which is influenced by your prior experience and memory and all of your personal cognitive biases which inform and shape your attitude to the situation. Successful and...

...admired leaders pause a moment before judging the situation and consider different angles and approaches to help find the optimum solution. They deliberately adopt one or more of five power attitudes. Number one is respecting the other person's model of the world, their map as the world. Number two is that the meaning of your communication is the response you get back. Number three is that people are not their behaviors. Number four, people can change anything, and number five, there is no failure, only feedback. I'm going to take you through each of these five power attitudes and how you can apply them to your next problem. So, number one, respect the other person's model or map of the world. The way you and I view the world is different. Everyone looks at the world through a lens that shaped by your memory, your experience, your upbringing, your values, your beliefs, your parents, exposure to the media, and there it goes on. In the USA, your political party affiliations are known to shape how someone interprets exactly the same news about a speech by a presidential candidate. Religious beliefs often determine how one person views a situation compared with someone seeing exactly the same thing but with a different belief. I'm not...

...suggesting that they are right and you are wrong, nor am I daring to suggest that you should change your beliefs or affiliations. I'm simply asking you to respect that they have their views and you have yours. They are as entitled to their perspective as you are to yours. I'm not even asking you to wear their shoes and imagine what the situation may look like if you shared their belief their experiences. I'm suggesting that you simply have due regard for their feelings, wishes, beliefs or right. When you look at the situation now, you may find a better way to approach the challenge that may have a greater chance of success for all concerned. The trick is to wear the attitude that you respect the other person's map of the world as if it were true, and see how your greater empathy builds more trust. Double Two, the meaning of communication is the response you get back. Just to get it. She said to me. That was my fault. It wasn't that she was insufficiently able to make it happen, it wasn't that she had listened to every word. It was my failure to communicate what I was explaining in a way that she understood and got. That was my problem. When I was much younger, I would have blamed her. Maybe she was too dense, too inexperience, not paying attention, unmotivated, anything of a myriad reason why she didn't understand. Not once would I have questioned my communication skills. What's far,...

...far worse for many leaders is that the other party doesn't use words in response. Many leaders I have coached complained that, in spite of their incredible, wonderful, timely, on point, brilliant communication, their staff are not following through. No one said anything. Of course, their response was not doing what was expected for whatever reason. What is the response that you're getting? You're facing a challenge and you know that you have communicated, but did they get it? I mean really to get it? The response you are getting, non compliance, lack of action, no promotion, is the meaning of your communication. Own The problem and choose another, better way of communicating again, where this attitude, the meaning of communication is the response you get back, as if it were true, and use the response you get as feedback too bad a communicate. Our third power attitude is people are not their behaviors. When someone behaves badly, in your view, this does not define them as a person. We all love to label people based on their behavior as we see it. Just this morning I walked past people who were behaving angry, frustrated, miserable, sad, tired, exhausted, rushed, harassed, concerned, troubled, rude, friendly, happy, smug and self satisfied. All of those labels, you'll notice, are judgments. Sure, there is some evidence in their behavior that makes those labels true for me this morning,...

...but those labels are not the person. We are often too quick to notice just one behavior, label it, generalize it for that person and then pin that label on them. The angry man, the rude woman, the troubled youth, the tired old man, and the moment we do that, we change our behavior towards them, and we do so knowing full well how we dislike being labeled by others. You know that is not you. All the time. You may well be upset and circum circumstances and display anger, but you know that does not make you an angry person. I was once asked at a conference how we should deal with the difficult people. MMM, as I reminded their question of there are no difficult people, only people whom we find it difficult to interact. What we want to do is deal with or change the behavior whilst loving the person. So where this attitude that people are not their behavior, as if it were true, and address the behavior whilst loving the person. Our fourth attitude, our fourth power attitude, is people can change anything, I can't do anything. How many times have you heard of the say that? How often have you said it to yourself? Is possibly the most dis empowering thing that anyone can say. It's when you were frustrating with the situation or a person and feel that you have tried so many ways to fix it and feel powerless. Heck, you may even be genuinely...

...powerless to change the situation or the person, but you can change you when you feel as though you can't remember Joe Strummer, he was lead vocalist of the clash. His quote people can change anything they want to, and that means everything in the world, where this attitude that people can change anything, as if it were true and you too can change the world. Our fifth and final power attitude there is no failure, only feedback. Thomas Edison famously said, I haven't failed, I've just found ten days and tenzero ways that weren't work often we try to change something in life and discover that the world has got other ideas. If you think of it as a failure, you focus on failing and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Instead, view any lack of success as feedback, that this way we'll not working and seek another way. See not say that you persevere against all odds and keep on until blood drips from your fingers or your head splits from banging against the wall. Be Wise. I know that sometimes the feedback means stopping and moving on to the next better thing. Where this attitude, as if it were true that there is no failure, only feedback, and if you fail to do that, then there's some feedback for you to try wearing it another way. So how do we use these five attitudes? Well, using any of the five power attitudes creates a momentary cognitive dissonance that's that uncomfortable mental feeling you get when you try to hold two or more contradictory ideas or beliefs simultaneously. When you...

...experience this discomfort, your brain needs a resolution to the dissonance and you seek a solution to the problem in question. You may struggle with this because your brain is trying to use or create a new neural pathway, reconciling old memories and even re evaluating them in light of this new belief, and because the five power attitudes that you wear as if true are positive beliefs. This will lead to happy thoughts. It improves your ability to analyze and think, it increases your attentiveness, stimulates the growth of new nerve connections and leads to a more happy thought. You'll be more creative, you'll solve problems faster and tend to be more alert. In short, your ability to deliberately choose the specific positive attitude towards any problem will enhance your aptitude and make you more successful. Allow me to take you through a little coaching exercise where you think of a particular problem. Here you want to take a fairly disciplined approach to this process. It will help you embed it and quickly establish this deliberate attitude or change as a normal part of pausing a moment before finding solutions to problems. I personally use post it notes to help steer my thinking. So you can write on sick post it notes or paper the phrases the problem. Respect the other person's model of the world. The meaning of your communication is the response you get. People are not their behaviors. People can change anything. And, lastly, there is no failure, only feedback. Take a moment, pause...

...that podcast here and just write those little post its or notes out for yourself. When you've done that, place them on a desk or a wall in front of you and just focus on the problem. Describe the problem using the following three questions. What is the problem? Specifically, exactly? What is the problem? Number two is what are the consequences of the problem for me? Thirdly, what are the implications for others around me? So you've described the problem. Now how does the problem make me feel? How do I experience that feeling? Can I describe that feeling to me? What impact does the problem have on my performance? Now ask yourself which of the five power attitudes would best toyst in solving this problem. Focus on the most appropriate power attitude. Note and consider the problem from that new attitude. Consider the problem acting as if is power attitude were true, and looking at the problem from this power attitude. What options do you have? What will be the payoffs for adopting this new power attitude? He now you have a new approach to the problem. Just test the problem with each of the five power attitudes, always acting as if this attitude were true. One or more of these attitudes...

...will offer a possible solution. We have yet come across a problem that does not change after genuinely reframing the problem using one or more of these five attitudes. Actually, there are exceptions, problems that do not involve people in any way at all, which isn't money. Our normal world view tends to view problems as well will problems. We have our view and often get caught up in the emotion of doing something about the problem. Ignoring the problem is still doing something about it. Take time with each and every problem you come across. Deliberately choose one of these power attitudes, and I recommend deliberately shifting your body to take a different view. Act as if the power how to dude, is true. Consider the problem in just the same manner as this exercise. What you will find is your problems have new options, new potential solutions. Enjoy using this and let me know hit replied. Tell me how you've used it. which attitude work best for you in what situation and loved are back from? You be blessed. I hope that you really enjoyed this episode and will share some highlights with the people you care about most. My team and I are working on a series of exciting new project in this art and neuroscience of hacking expert leadership to unstuft your true potential in life and work. To learn more, visit leadership Advantagecom or just search for Dr John Kenworthy and connect with.

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