AdvantEdge Joy@Work Podcast:
AdvantEdge Joy@Work Podcast:

Episode · 6 years ago

LA 026: The Two Enemies to Your Success-and How to Defeat Them

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

FEAR is the number one reason that people never achieve their breakthrough to success. Yes, we can blame other people for not giving us the chance. We can lament that we took the wrong course. We can express concern about the uncertainty of obtaining that success, and maybe, just maybe I'll look stupid. In short, our fear comes down to two enemies. Our uncertain future and our excuses from the past. Or. More simply: "what if" and "If only".   What if/If only When you have a goal worth achieving, you will need to achieve breakthroughs. Breakthroughs that take you outside of your comfort zone and going outside your comfort zone is fearful.   So what can you do to ensure that you create the necessary breakthroughs that will lead to your dramatic transformation? And we have to conquer two enemies: “What if” and “If Only” And each requires you to do two things: Take courage Get off your ‘but’   Take courage Let me share a brief personal story: Known as the Swiss Wall, La Chavanette at Avoriaz is one of the most dangerous ski slopes in the world. It is a disturbingly steep, mogul run and the slope gets icy quickly, turning the area between moguls into ice sheets. Not making a turn in these situations means that you miss the next mogul, and pick up too much speed to make the next one after that, starting off a tumble that ends a couple of hundred metres down the slope, while hitting a few dozen icy bumps in the course.   A number of years ago, as a reasonable, but by no means good skier, I decided that I just had to conquer this slope. Why? Well, I can only now think that it was a moment of sheer madness. At the time, however, I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do it.   Standing at the top of the slope, I looked down the 40 degree slope with considerable fear mixed with trepidation, mixed with determination and a whole lot of cortisol and adrenaline pumping through my body. I took about 5 minutes to muster up the courage. To launch myself off the edge.   It was exhausting, knee jangling, hard concentrated deliberate movements. Desperately remembering to keep my weight down the hill and my edges as loose as I dared. Turn after turn after turn after turn. Around one mogul, push off, turn, shift weight, edge, again and again and again. Endorphins took over from the adrenaline to mask the pain in my legs and screaming lungs.   Finally, after what seemed an eternity, I arrived at the bottom of the slope. My legs like jelly, my heart racing tears from the icy wind streaming down my face. Every fibre of my body was pulsing with electricity and sheer, unbounded joy as dopamine filled my entire being. I was alive, I had done it. I hadn’t fallen. I had conquered the wall.   I hadn’t been fast. It hadn’t been elegant. But it had been me.     FEAR is the #1 issue when it comes to making a personal breakthrough.   FEAR is what you FEEL when your Amygdala (the emotional centre of your brain) considers that there is a threat to you and signals the production of Cortisol. Cortisol floods your blood stream and informs your heart to beat faster, your lungs to pump faster, your legs and arms to prepare to run or to fight and since all this demands energy, your digestive system is shut down. What you FEEL is warmer, you’ll perspire more due to the energy in your muscles and faster heart beat. You have “butterflies” in your stomach as the digestive tract is closed for business (heck who needs to digest food if you are about to be eaten…   Only, you are not about to be eaten. It’s highly likely that you are not about to die, nor about to get injured. The amygdala response is a primitive and essential trigger for survival. But it is very poor at distinguishing between a real threat to life and limb, and one that might possibly hurt your pride. It’s the same cortisol induced response. Your amygdala is essentially like a sentry guard checking the external environment and your own thinking process for the slightest sign of a threat to you. It is a

Hi. What's better, today you're listening to the leadership advantage podcast with me, Dr John Campbell, brought to you by yourself incom it's why some leaders thrive and others struggle. Hey, they're are welcome. This is John, and this week I'm looking at the two enemies to your success and how you're going to defeat them. Fear is the number one reason that people never achieve their breakthrough to success. Yes, we can blame other people for not giving us the chance, we can lament that we took the wrong course, we can express concern about the uncertainty obtaining success and maybe, just maybe, our look stupid. In short, our fear comes down to two enemies. I face them, you face them, we will face them. It's our uncertain future and our excuses from the past, or, more simply, what if? If? Only so, let me tell you about what if if. I'mly see, when you've got any goal, any desire that's worth achieving, you will need to achieve breakthroughs. It's not simply going to happen without some breakthrough and breakthroughs that will take you outside of your comfort zone, and going outside of Your Comfort Zone is fearful. What can you do to ensure that you create those necessary breakthroughs that will lead to your dramatic transformation to the successful person that is inside just waiting to come out? And we have to conquer...

...these two enemies. What if and if only? And each of them requires you to do two things. Number one is take courage, a number two is get off your butt. Let's talk about courage and taking courage, I mean share with your brief personal story. This place is known as the Swiss Wall Lush Chavenett, in a warriors you, is one of the most dangerous ski slopes in the world. It is disturbingly steep, it's a mogul run and the slope gets icy very quickly, turning the area between moguls, these lumps in the in the snow, into ice sheets. And not making a turn in these situations means that you miss the next mogul and you pick up far too much speed to make the next one after that. And it's starting off with a tumble that ends a couple of hundred meters down the slope, whilst hitting a few dozen icy bumps on the course. Well, one number of years ago, a good number of years ago, as a reasonable button, by no means a good skier, I decided that I just had to conquer this slope. Why? Yeah, well, I can only think now that it was a moment of sheer an utter madness. Of the time, however, I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do it, that I was a man enough standing at the very top edge of the slope and look down this forty degree, steep, icy hill with considerable figure.

Yeah, but it was mixed with trepidation, mixed with a bit of determination and a whole lot of Corriesol and adrenaline pumping through my body. I talk about five minutes to muster up the courage to launch myself over the edge, and that's what I did, launched myself over that it was an exhausting, knee genly hard, concentrated, deliberate series of movements, desperately remembering to keep my weight down the hill and my edge is as loose as I did turn after turn after turn after turn around, one mogul, push off, turn, shiftway edge, again and a, again and again and again. In dolphins took over from the adrenaline to mask the pain in my legs and my screaming lungs. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, I arrived at the bottom of the slim my legs like Jelly, my heart racing, tears from the icy wind streaming down my face, and every fiber of my body was pulsing with electricity and sheer unbounding joy as the dump then filled my entire being. I was alive. I done it. I haven't fallen, I had conquered the war. I haven't been fast, it hadn't been pretty, but it had been me. Now have I stopped at the top and let the...

...fear fully take hold. I would never have pushed myself over the edge. A courage wouldn't have been enough if I'd allowed the fear to control me, and that fear is the number one issue when it comes to making a personal breakthrough. Fear is what you feel when you're a Migdala. That emotional center of your brain considers that there is a threat to you and signals the production of court is all courts, all that floods your blood stream and informs your heart to beat faster, your lungs to pump faster, your legs and arms to prepare to run or to fight, and since all of this demands energy. Your digestive stem is shutting down and what you feel is warmer. Your perspire more due to the energy in your muscles and files to heartbeat. You have butterflies in your stomach, as the digestive tract is closed for business, and a head who needs to digest food. If you were about to be eaten, only you're not about to be eaten. It's highly likely that you're not about to die, nor about get injured. The immigdala response is a primitive and essential trigger for survival, but it is very poor at distinguishing between a real threat to life and limb and one that might possibly hurt your pride. Is the same courti is old induced response. You're Amig deal is essentially like that century guard, checking the external environment and your own thinking process for their slightly sign of threat to you. It's a trigger happy century guard of that shooting first on asking questions later, and every time you're thinking about stepping outside of your comfort zone, you're amigdaler is going, what if this? What if that? What if that? Now here is the good news.

You have a brain that is much more than you're amigdaler. You have a neo cortex. You are in intelligent and can consciously choose to think and choose to override your Amigdala. There's a snag. The IMINGDALA has already pulled the trigger and on court is old production. Then you think. It's in a deliberate, conscious effort, one that you're perfectly capable of doing. I know this because I know that you have moved out of your warm bed today. That was a safe place, comfortable to the world outside. Well, it's full of threats. You could get knocked down by a bus, a frequent could come and blow your house away. You could be struck by lightning. All of these are possible, but you still got out of bed this morning, and that took courage. And you've been on a plane and flowing somewhere. Do you know the pilot personally? I bet you didn't even see the pilot, and yet you trusted your very life to someone you don't know and have an even seen. And you've been on board a metal tube full filled with explosive fuel, traveling except St Miles an hour, some three miles above the planet. You see, you take courage every day, sometimes more than others. Well, that you can border plane, you can get a personal breakthrough. Courage, after all, is doing something whilst fearful, and if what you're doing is not fearful, he ain't going to be a breakthrough. So everything is about taking courage and choose to do this in spite of your...

...fear. And when I went over that edge of that wall in Warriors, that's the bit of getting off your Butt, and I'm not being rude here. Okay, this is, but with a single to Tebut I'm not referring to your backside, I mean get off your excuses. This is your second breakthrough. Enemy. It's called if only. If only refers to yesterday and, more often than not, somebody else or something else that you don't control. If only the economy was better, if only my boss would recognize my hard work, if only the weather were warmer, if only I hadn't eaten that slice of cake. The variation of if only is the should family. I should have he should, she should, they should, they should, if only they had sat. The simple fact of the matter is this. There are things pertaining to your dreams and goals that are you are not able to control. Lun If happens all the time and you have made mistakes. Actually, I had better check it if there's any one listening. Well, hasn't ever made a single mistake. Is there somebody out there who's perfect in every way? Theories? So we all do things that we regret, things we should have done, things we should not have done, people we crossed,...

...choices we made. These have happened. These are not excuses, these are opportunities to do something different from now on. In a recent podcast called how to hack motivation to make you happier, I share that your happiness, to your success, is achieved when you are progressively moving towards the achievement of your goals that are beyond your current comfort zone, so that they stretch you and your progress towards those breakthrough goals is what makes you happy. And today I've shared the fact that you have two main enemies to achieving those breakthroughs, called if only and what if, and how you take courage and get off your butt to choose to continue on in spite of your fear. So let me quickly help you identify where you might get stuck or help you understand what you can do about this. Firstly, we need to acknowledge the facts. Yes, maybe you should have done something different, but you didn't. Simply acknowledge this is so. Even if this is someone else's perception and the perception is wrong in Invertimas, it is still their perception and maybe they shouldn't have that perception, but they do. Harsh. Yeah, some of you may think this is too much, but they should really change that. It isn't you the needs to change, but then, but whether they do or not to doesn't matter. Only you look after you. You may have disappointment or regrets about the past. Acknowledge them. Once we acknowledge the past, we can learn from it. Are there any patterns? What would you do differently...

...now, knowing what did happen? Thirdly, we are just our behavior from now, knowing that we had problems in the past, acknowledging that it didn't work. Whether other people should or should not have understood is irrelevant. What matters is they didn't. Therefore, you need to change. Yeah, its tough, is no, so what do we need to do in order to get these breakthroughs? We'll put the past where it belongs, acknowledge what happened and learn from it, and are just our behavior. What if I do that and there's a problem in the future? HMM, if only someone would tell me the real secret to success. Oh yes, hang I did that a couple of weeks ago in a podcast on the three step secret to success is how to realize your dreams. M Okay. So couple of podcasts you might need to listen to outside of this and in the show notes on the website I'll make sure I've got the links over to those podcast for you. One thing you can do right now is to give this podcast a rating and a review on the website, on itunes or stitcher now. Your review and rating will help other people overcome their obstacles of their past and their future. So be greatly blessed. Understand that you can deal with your two enemies and I look forward to hearing your stories of your future great success. But I...

...you've been listening to the leadership advantage podcast with me, Dr John Kimworthy, if you like to find out more. Visitors and sells himcom. It's why some leaders thrive and others struggle.

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