AdvantEdge Joy@Work Podcast:
AdvantEdge Joy@Work Podcast:

Episode · 11 months ago

How to Undermine Engagement, Destroy Trust and Wreck Collaboration Before it Can Even Dare Take Root

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Collaboration is when an effective team harnesses the best out of individuals working together and appears to be disarmingly simple:

“to work with another person or group in order to achieve or do something”

But everyone in the team comes with their own personality, their culture and way of doing things and their own competitiveness, their fears, their concerns and their needs. For successful and fruitful collaboration, the leader needs to help the team be actively engaged in what they are doing, and that they trust one another by setting the groundwork to build a solid foundation and then maintaining it rigorously.

Many thousands of leaders have failed to create team unity, trust and engagement through team building courses and enforced jollity of casual Friday or a virtual happy hour. But the buzz from that ropes course wears thin after a few days when your brain recognises that what it wants and needs is still missing.

How do we fix that? Well, before we get to that let’s check in on what your brain really wants and needs:

What Your Brain Wants and Needs:

Fortunately, we know that every human being shares a fundamental need for three things in life:

  1. The need to feel safe
  2. The need to belong to a group or tribe, and
  3. The need to believe that they and what they do, matters

Getting a team to be actively engaged, to trust each other and collaborate takes plenty of leadership time and effort - so why would you destroy it before it has a chance?

Purpose

In this guide we’ll understand how to build and maintain the critical foundation's of Safety, Belonging and Mattering by Listening Deeply so that the team can trust each other and, with clarity of their own purpose and direction, be actively engaged and collaborate to achieve the desired results.

Process

We'll look Pat Lencioni's famous work on the five dysfunctions of a team and see how further research shows that Safety, Belonging and Mattering are crucial to your brain and thus to your ability to trust and collaborate. We'll then look at how listening deeply is the ONE missing ingredient that all leaders can do and use to help build the foundations and hence, ultimately, get the results they desire.

Payoff

When you start to listen deeply you will begin to dismantle any climate of fear or the lack of safety felt in too many organisations. Team members will learn that they can speak up and help the leader build and maintain the edifying climate to guide themselves and other team members towards effective trust and collaboration.

What's better today. Friend, welcome to the advantage podcast and thrilled that you've joined me here as I share Trivia, tips, troubles and tales guiding you in the art and behavior or neuroscience to unstuck your true potential in expert leadership so that you can have joy at work and your team has purposeful unity of cohesion and effort. How to undermine engagement, destroy trust and wreck collaboration before it can even dare take root? Collaboration is when an effective team harnesses the best out of individuals working together, and it appears to be disarmingly simple. The definition of collaboration is to work with another person or group in order to achieve or do something, but everyone in the team comes with their own personality, their own culture, their way of doing, their competitiveness, their fears, their concerns and their needs. For successful and fruitful collaboration, the leader needs to help the team be actively engaged in what they are doing and that they trust one another by setting the ground work to build a solid foundation and then maintaining it rigorously. Many thousands of leaders have failed to create team unity,...

...trust and engagement through team building courses and enforced jollity of casual Friday or a virtual happy hour, but the buzz from that rope's course weighs thin after a few days when your brain recognizes that what it wants and needs are still missing. How do we fix that? Well, before we get to that, let's check in and what your brain really wants and needs. What's your brain wants and needs? Fortunately, we know that every human being shares a fundamental need for three things in life the need to feel safe, the need to belong to a group or tribe and the need to believe that they are what they do matters. Getting a team to be actively engaged, to trust each other and collaborate plate takes plenty of leadership, time and effort. So why would you destroy it before it has a chance? A purpose in this guide is to understand how to build and maintain the critical foundations of safety, belonging and mattering by listening deeply, so that the team can trust each other and, with clarity of their own purpose and direction, be actively engaged and collaborate to achieve the desired results. To do that, will look at Pat lence he only's famous work on the five dysfunctions of a team and see how.

Further research shows that safety, belonging and mattering are crucial to your brain and thus to your ability to trust and collaborate. Well, then, look at how listening deeply is the one missing ingredient that all leaders can do and use to help build the foundations and hence ultimately get the results they desire. And you pay off. When you start to listen deeply, you will begin to dismantle any climate of fear, all the lack of safety felt into many organizations. Team members will learned that they can speak up and help the leader build and maintain the edifying climate to guide themselves and other team members toward effective trust and collaboration. Patrick Lencione's leadership fable about the five dysfunctions of a team should be on every leader's Reddit list in his patch, as how an absence of trust feeds a fear of conflict, which is the antithesis of collaboration. J often leads to a lack of commitment, also known as no engagement, and then avoidance of responsibility, ultimately meaning that there is an absence of results. The five dysfunctions is brilliant and true, and it's also, what is more, visible if trust is so critically important to a team functioning and hence collaborating effectively. I was more interested in why there was an absence of trust in the first place, and my research pointed to the less visible foundations of...

...trust and collaboration, those of meeting the brains three fundamental cravings safety, belonging and mattering. Without these in place, there is no trust. Without Trust, there are no results. And who is actively engaged if they don't believe that they belong and matter? In our team leadership advantage model, collaboration and trust are central to the success and effectiveness of the team, and it's made manifest as team unity of cohesion and effort. It's the how too, of the five dysfunctions. Our research into successful teams and organizations over the past four decades shows that this is true only when purpose and values, talent and potential, command, intent and influential communications are all aligned to achieve that success. But all of these are moot if the foundation isn't properly built and maintained, and that foundation is the sense of safety, belonging and mattering. Your job as a leader is to make sure that everyone, including yourself, feels safe that they belong to the team and that they matter and what they do matters. Let me take a little side route into the brain and let me briefly explain that our brains have two key pasts as far as we are concerned, as this will help us understand what is going on. It's your inner child...

...and smart brain, what some mistakenly call our reptile or primitive brain, the part that is concerned with the lower essential functions of our survival, and what Christine commiffort apply calls the critter brain. I refer to as the inner child brain. And we have our adult thinking brain, all the executive pray. It's the NEO CORTEX, complete with the pre frontal court. Next, and it's this latter part, which is not fully developed before the age of twenty three, maybe twenty five. This is our smart brain. If you were your brain and the brains of your team members have one single primary concern to keep you in the not dead state. That is its first and foremost function. It really doesn't matter how high your potential or how talented you are. When you are in the dead state, when the world around US becomes even a little bit uncertain, your brain is marvelously designed to allow your inner child brain to take charge of survival, a task to which it is particularly well suited. In a time of crisis, the inner child brain rules the day until you deliberately choose to intervene using your smart brain. On any normal day, you're inner child brain is assessing the environment, asking three questions am I safe, do I belong and do I matter? This isn't a want in a while process. It is every minute, top every single day. Am...

I safe is simply checking your surroundings for threats and all is well. Response Allows your brain to relax for a brief moment and if this extends for some time, you will physically relax and your brain waves will slow down. When am I safe gets the answer no, then the Amiddali are brought swiftly into the action. The stress hormone nor epinephrin triggers your body to produce adrenaline, ready for freeze, flight or fight. If the threat is judged to be imminent. The do I belong question may get out to check on the whereabouts of fellow tribe members. After all, who wants to face a ravenous wolf alone? If there is a wolf, the do I meth matter question probably doesn't even have a cursory glance. So every leader needs a sign on the wall that reads safety first, because without it, nothing else will really matter. Surely you're exaggerating, John, not at all, and it's most evident in a time of crisis. A crisis is by definition, a time of intense difficulty or danger, even if you experience it only through a social media feed or a news bulletin. Our safety is threatened in a crisis, and in times of difficulty or danger we're usually better off with our tribe on our...

...side. At least then we might stand a chance of survival, let alone emerging triumphant and ready for the post crisis world. And a great leader knows this, listens to the concerns of the team and pulls and energizers the team together toward a clear and tangible intended hill. Even when there is no immediate crisis, safety is the single most important factor in determining team performance success. As Google discovered in their project aristotle, psychological safety is the number one factor in determining a team's effectiveness. Google's project aristotle sought to find the secrets of effective teams, and they were very surprised when the finding was that psychological safety was by far the most important factor that determined whether a team would be effective or not. Dependability, which refers to belonging, was number two, and meaning an impact, which means mattering. Fourth and fifth, respectively, structure and clarity was found to be the third factor, and that's something we discuss in our command intent guide. The five factors that Google discovered through project aristop or for team effectiveness psychological safety, dependability, structure and clarity, meaning and impact. And Reverend Billy Graham has said, safety is a big deal. It's why we seek committed relationships and high paying jobs. That's also why it's devastating when spouse is leave and jobs are eliminated. Amy Edmondson's research on psychological...

...safety bears this out, as did Edgar shines research all those years ago in the S and Dale carnage. Well, he wrote the book with the answer a hundred years ago. Daddy is we've known for many decades psychological safety is a critical foundation for team effectiveness, trust and collaboration. And yet well, I have a little news for you might come as a bit of a shock, unless you are listening deeply to your team members. They are not feeling safe, that they belong, nor that they matter. Yes, it's possible that they have enough hoots, Bar and self love to deal with it and still deliver, but you're not getting as much from them as you could be. Okay, I've got myself ahead, so let me backtrack. Think about a leader you personally admire. Now, this is preferably somebody who has been a leader in your life, but if that's not possible, how about someone you know well enough, even if they're in the grave? Remember how they made you feel safe, how they made you understand that you were a valuable part of the team. Remember how they made you believe that you truly math to it. How did they do that? Here's my guess after posing this question to thousands of clients and participants. They asked you questions and they listened...

...to you as if you were the most important person in the room. Do you do that for others? Do you ask questions and listen to them as if they were the most important person in the room? What about your customers or users? Do you listen to them deeply? Do they feel safe, that they belong? To remain loyalty your brand that they mattered, their opinions, their desires, they are wants. What about your bosses, your peers? Simple, but not easy. Asking questions and listening deeply as if they are the most important person in the room, seems simple enough, but it's not easy. Listening deeply takes effort and most leaders, most people even, are too lazy to bother. And we all have a listening Billa. You want to learn more about your listening, villain and deep listening, and Oscar Trimboli's website, and I've got a link in the show, knows with and it's as if they were the most important person in the room. Of course, there's a danger here. I've met more than my fair share of smarmy politicians through life who were peer to do just that. They give the impression they are keenly interested in everything you have to say, they nod in all the right places and you open up to them as if they were a real friend. Later you meet them again and the whole ritual is repeated and you realize they didn't even take in a word. See, that's not what we're advocating here. Instead, you act as if they are the most important person...

...in the room, because at that moment they are the best and wisest leaders. Take on board what they hear and act on it. But I bits for another day when you're ready for the whole of the leadership advantage. But it's not my job, true, you might say to me. But, John, it's not my job to be making my boss, my customers, my peers, feel safe, that they belonged, that they matter. In fact, you it's my boss, his job to do that for me. Hmm, let me remind you of a few corporate failures, folkswagan's jetter emission scant, the Wells Fargo Bank account fraud scandal, Nokia and their failure, the Columbia and Challenger shuttle disasters. Maybe you're alled enough to remember the tenor Reef Airport disaster. You'll certainly have heard of UBER's record breaking scandal history and the me to movement that swiftly followed. What about the melt down at Chanobel? More recently, the Fukashima daity nuclear disaster? Remember the Enron scandal? About the deep water harbison oil spill? Or something even more recent? Why? A card? All of these are well documented examples of how the lack of open, candid, deeper listening by senior leadership at the very top and throughout the organization. They created a climate of fear of speaking up, even...

...when in lives were at stake. And there are countless others, including current governments and ministries, who tread the knife edge of disaster with cover up, slight of hand and obverscation. If you want to undermine engagement and destroy trust, collaboration and joy at work before it can even dare take root, the answer is so simple that anyone can easily do it by not listening. Sadly, most leaders are already unwittingly following that guys. So if you don't start listening deeply and asking questions, who will? Thank you so much for joining me, Dr John Kenworthy, and for being fully present for this edition of the advantage podcast, Sharing Trivia, tips, troubles and tales guiding you in the art of neuroscience of an expert leadership. visit us at Leadership Advantagecom and remember to share this with someone you know needs to unstuck their potential.

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