AdvantEdge Joy@Work Podcast:
AdvantEdge Joy@Work Podcast:

Episode 115 · 5 months ago

How to Enjoy a Happy and Successful Year Ahead

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Double Blessings to you this new year.

Ask what they want from the coming new year and most people are seeking to be happy and successful in the year ahead. We see the new year as a fresh start where we can put the past behind us and move ahead.

Sadly, most people never achieve happiness or success and, in large part, that’s down to the way we set goals and commit to new year’s “resolutions”.

The problem is a lack of motivation and a lack of balanced prioritisation.

Resolutions tend to be negative shifts of behaviour that we “should” do for our own good. Things like: get fit, lose weight, quit smoking, quit drinking, be kind to everyone, stop complaining. All things that our flesh just screams to keep on doing because we don’t like change - or at least our brain does not like change - and your brain was getting something it liked from the “bad habits” of last year. Your brain would rather “do nothing” than “do something, anything, taxing”.

And those new goals, we try but they tend to throw us even more off balance than we were already. What we need is to re-consider goals across all key aspects of our life. And those goals need to have an embedded, motivational purpose - our reason for achieving them, our “why” I should put in all this effort. Without which, our brain quickly defaults back to its preference of “do nothing”!

We need a crystal clear, compelling picture of our future and what success looks like in each of the key areas of life. What is called a “Command Intent” and we need one or more for each of our five key life engines.

Listen, watch or read the podcast now - it’s in a new format which we hope you like. It’ll be 15 minutes very well spent.

I hope that you enjoyed a joyful festive season and you are ready for the excellent challenges that 2022 may bring.

Be blessed - and remember - let us know what you think of the new podcast format.

Welcome to the joy at work podcast. Regular listeners will immediately notice a change in format for this podcast. We hope that you like it and we'd love to hear your thought on this in your comments. I'm Alex and I am joined by our resident Behavioral Ner, scientist and expert leadership coach, Dr John Kenworthy. Alex is Great Away with me today. Today we're discussing why you need a rocket ship for your life. Welcome to your joy at work podcast, Dr John. First off, I think we need to understand what is a rocket ship for life. The rocket ship for life I'm about because I used to suffer from a major problem. Basically, I was easily distracted. Teachers could rarely get lettle and keep my attention. Let's start a new project, only to get quickly bold frustrated and I moved on to the next shiny object. If ADHD had been popular back then, perhaps I could have got myself and medicated for it. And it wasn't. Because I like goals much...

...that I wanted to achieve in my career, but for some strange reason I was always looking for something I couldn't get all keep focused long enough to stick with it and finish. The big issue returned out was not lack of clear goals, not an inability to focus, it was that they were gaps in what I was trying to achieve. There was no balance. That's what many a badly described as work life balance, but what I prefer to call work life integration. It's where you identify your desired intent in the five key areas of your life as the drivers of the things that you do every day, steered by your values and are lined to your overall purpose or mission in life.

If you ask most people what they want from life, I'll tell you a variation of to be happy and successful, what the Bible calls good success in Joshua one, verse eight. Some people think that more money will make them happy. The problem is money as a great servant, but allows you master. And so what if you achieve great success at work, if you spend all your time at work and neglect your family and health? As I mentioned, we have identified five key areas in life that, when attended to folly, will bring you real happiness and success as you fulfill them. What are the five key areas? These five key areas are like the engines of a rocket ship that you ride towards your life, purpose, your values. Other way, you steer and choose which paths you are following, and the fiber areas that we've uncovered through our research. Our number one family and relationships,...

...and but two health and wellbeing. Thirdly, in the middle, spiritual fulfillment, fourthly, your personal development and fifthly, your work and career. As you can imagine, like most people, I'd paid a great attention to working career and I found it increasingly difficult to keep steering straight. I was working eighty plus hours every week. This was in the days when I was in the hotel and restaurant business. No brakes, rarely a weekend off and scant holidays, and I've gotten away with it healthwise for a good few years. But it really shouldn't have surprised me when my body rebelled and finally got me to pay a lot more attention to my health and well being, when my heart throw a hissy fit in two thousand and fourteen. Wow, that...

...must have been life changing. Yes, it was. See, when you neglect an engine, it's always going to be much more difficult to keep going towards your purpose and very easy to get blown off course it's why your life and work are off balance, not integrated. Do most people have this are planned out? Not at all. In the many years I've been coaching, fewer than twenty percent have anything remotely resembling balance, and they've usually been coached before or I've had their own health or personal crisis. There's many a successful person in the board room whose family life is in shambles. Why these five areas? And is one more important than the others? Well, as you think about each one, you'll realize that if you stop feeding one of these areas and consider the repercussions in your own life, if you show no ambition...

...in your work, your career stagnates, just becomes a routine you can do with your eyes shut. Your brain becomes inactive and you are simply marking time until one day you retire. And then well, well, let's say you don't bother with personal development after school or college and you learn nothing new. Now everything in your life stagnates. Your brain is bored because it's a learning machine, and when your brain is bored you get depressed because you lack Sarahtonin and dopening, and then you'll opt out of everything else life has to, for that's not good, not at all. If you neglect your spiritual man and there's a big hole in your life and emptiness that you cannot quite put your finger on, you'll triumphillip with all sorts of other things, but nothing...

...ever seems to satisfy. Neglect your health and wellbeing and your body will one day, sooner or later, quit entirely. Your brain tried to keep you not dead. It's job, but somehow you resisted that urge until it too gave up fighting. You neglect your family and or your relationships, and you will soon be alone. And humans are social animals. You have an innate desire to belong to a tribe, to matter to others. So you need our five of these engines. Yes, we all need all of these engines, and just like a vehicle engine, you need to keep it maintained properly. The trouble is everyone is fundamentally lazy, or about fairer to say that...

...your brain is fundamentally lazy. If there is a do nothing option, your brain will take it, because do anything requires effort, which burns scarce energy. So if you do not deliberately attend to each of your engines, your brain will neglect them until something breaks. Absolutely right, Alex, if we're going to burn fuel in these five areas, you're saying that we need to have a reason for doing so. Each engine need to drive or motivation for the brain to switch from its default do nothing, to do something to get whatever we intend to get. So we need to tell our brain specifically what we intend to get. Yes, once we do something, then your brain is prepared to spend that precious fuel in that area. Where not s at a simple goal or a smart goal? Goals are great, and smart goals...

...are even better. Howe. Command intent is usually more suited to changing situations, which is real life, and, very importantly, it has an embedded purpose. This is what turns your brain on to motivation. I've written a lot on why goal setting matters and will share a link in the Jow notes. Okay, establishing command intent in each area really matters, then absolutely no one climbs a boarder space rocket ready to launch into the heavens and then asks son, where should we go today? And no one replies I don't know. Let's just start and we'll go from that. Know, every time there is a clear command intent for the mission, and each and every engine has a very precise role in achieving that intent to help the rocket ship and crew...

...fulfill the mission. What's the difference between purpose, mission and intent? We don't have time here today to delve into a difference between purpose and intent. Suffice to say for now your purpose is why you were born. It's your overall mission. Your command, intense plural, are what you achieve along the journey to fulfill your purpose or mission in life. Let's get practical. How do you establish command intent in each of these five areas of your life? If you ask most people what they intend to achieve in their career, their career goal, for example, and you'll probably get a very vague answer and money, position, happiness level and maybe a job tile. Honestly, that's about as useful as telling a blind footballer that the goal is at the end of the pitch. which end you ask? And many other questions besides,...

...not least is how will you know when you have scored a goal? So we've got a change the question. Establishing a command intent for anything is simply a case of answering the question. What does success look like? What a success look like? Yes, and and when I use the word look, I mean all of your senses. Look, feel, taste, smell, sound and be as specific as you can be. And when we are asking what does it look like, we mean literally, what do will you see with your eyes, in reality and in as much rich detail as you can? And you repeat that with feel, emotions and touch, smell, which...

...is the most evocative and immediate of your senses, taste and sound. And if it's not evident in your answers, how will you know that you've achieved it? How will you measure your achievements? You will ask what will you win or gain, and what will you lose when you have achieved it? This bit is the embedded purpose. And lastly, one more question here, by when the needs some time here, when this is full of very riches sensory descriptions, you will have a captivating picture of your future. And you do this for our five areas of your life. You'll find it helpful and motivational to have a very clear command intent in all five areas of your life,...

...your work and career, your family and relationships, your spiritual life, your health and your personal development, making sure that they support each other and our congruent. Miss One area and you are risk struggling to steer your life purposefully forward. He said. By when is this just for the long term future? It's best to have command in tense for the short, medium and long term. Most of my clients find it helpful to establish these command intents in three time frames, Short, medium and long term futures. Whatever is short, medium or long term for you. A little aside here on future time frames. Most teams seem to struggle with a long term time frame of...

...ten years as the most young adults. As we get older, it becomes easier to imagine further into the future what's next. If you lead a team, then you are responsible for identifying a worthy and compelling vision and articulating it to the team. People continually need to be shown the team's compass clearly and creatively so that their actions are aligned and they stay motivated with a captivating picture of their future in their book made to stick. Chip and Dan Heath share help from the unit in charge of military simulations for NATO, the Combat Maneuver Training Center, who recommend the officers arrived at the commander's intent by asking themselves this question, and I've just in this for use with personal intense if I...

...do nothing else tomorrow, I must dot dot dot so that dot dot dot answer this question in each of your five key life areas and every day you will have that often elusive, almost mythical balance. Where can you go to learn more? As An advantage coaching client, will help you fine tune your rocket ship for life so that you have a crystal clear, captivating picture of the future and what your success in each of these areas of your life look like, and will guide you on that path that will equip and empower you to achieve them. You can apply for your complimentary advantage discovery session today and will discuss it, and that's without any obligation other than to join your scheduled...

...discovery session without obligation. Thanks John, for your insights into the rocket ship for life and how we can achieve work life integration by establishing a captivating picture of our own future in the five key areas of our life so that our engines run well and we are motivated to achieve our own success. Thanks and being greatly blessed. We hope that you've enjoyed this joy at work podcast and this new format with me, Alex, asking our resident behavioral neuroscientist and expert leadership coach, Doctor John Kenworthy, to guide us in developing our leadership so that we can have joy at work and our team is united and trust and collaboration. Do you remember to let us know what you think of the new format and, if you haven't done so, subscribe and read us on your favorite podcast platform, and do remember to tell others who you think will find this podcast useful for their own leadership development.

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