AdvantEdge Joy@Work Podcast:
AdvantEdge Joy@Work Podcast:

Episode · 1 year ago

Are you at Cause or Effect? Going Beyond Resilience and Well-being

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

In this guide we’ll consider how critical it is to make a good choice in response to the many varied challenges we face every day. How easily we can get trapped by “Effect” and the two enemies of our mind into a spiral of anxiety and fear or be at “Cause” for ourselves and our life.

Hey there. This is the advantage podcast, where hacking the art and neuroscience of expert leadership so that you can unstuck your true potential in life and work. I'm Dr John Kay, I'm your host, and welcome to this episode. It's time to go beyond resilience and wellbeing. Are you a cause or effect? Most people, most of the time, allow life to happen to them. Life is difficult. Begins and Scott Pick in the s classic, the road less traveled. What remains most surprising is that for many people this is a revelation. If you are alive and get out of bed today, there will be a challenge for you to face. Something will happen that you will either one, choose to do something about and take action or, two, you will find that you have to do something about and react, and your choice at this point matters. Agree rate deal. Welcome to this edition of the advantage podcast. Let's start by clarifying purpose, process and pay up for this particular advantage guide. In this guide, we're going to consider how critically is to make a good choice in response to the many vary challenges we face every single day, and how easily we can get trapped by effect and the two enemies of our mind into a spiral of anxiety and fear. Or we can choose to be at cause for ourselves now life, and will do that by introducing you to the two cycles of being a cause and being at effect. Will examine the two enemies of our mind and deep bunk some brain myths about emotion. That will put you and your brain back in a sense of control. Then will consider a couple of powerful neuroscience act that you can employ immediately to choose to be at calls, and you'll pay off well at your very next challenge obstacles you face today. Use One or both hacks and begin to feel that locust or sense of control. This will immediately give you an extra blush of Dopamin and Serotonin, which will make you feel you go rate more bordingly, you'll know that you are not at the mercy of your emotions and that you're on the road to victorious living. In the show note,...

I've got a fabulous little flow diagram that can show you these two cycles and the two end of it and how they work. You can follow along as you listen. Your choice in the face of every challenge matters. In the first you choose to take action, knowing that there is, or there will soon be, an obstacle or challenge that you will need to overcome. You may need to experiment and keep on approaching the obstacle until you get your desired result, and then you celebrate your victory. All the while you are learning how to better tackle future challenges. You have chosen to be at cause for your life, this part of it anyway, and you have adopted a gross mindset. The second choice, you will confront the two enemies of the mind. If you have to do something about the obstacle or challenge, you will face one or books. What if, and or if only? What if is your fear of the future. What if I'm wrong? What if I make a bad decision? What if I fail? If only is regret of your past. If only I have paid attention the last time at school to coach. If only you had more skills, more money, more connections, more friends, more lovers. Still of the future means that you like to avoid obstacles just in case you fail again. Regret to the past means that you adapt to go around the obstacle because you believe that you lack the resources necessary to succeed. Either way, your results will be less than you desire, so you'll probably blame yourself or someone else. You'll be disappointed and you've adopted a survival vision of life, because life is indeed difficult and you are at effect in your life. When we are at effect, it's easy to excuse our own choices. After all, history proves our point and we are at the mercy of our feelings. And everyone knows that our primary emotions are easily triggered. Only they're not. So I think it's time to debunk some flawed theories about emotions. Since Darwin in the S theorizes that our human...

...brain evolved from lizards, and mcclaim's triune brain in the S, the popular theory is that our emotions are triggered in the blizzard brain from the outside world and this determines our actions and choices. It may be popular and compelling, but it's wrong, and neuro scientists have known this for decades. Our emotions aren't triggered in our lizard brain or the LYMPIC system, nor the EMMITTA. Actually, our brains are making predictions constantly and continuously about what is going to happen, based upon our personal experience in and through life, these pred dictions, which are actually based on concepts that are constructed on the fly from internal sensing networks, it's called our interroceptive now, and from our perceptions of what is happening outside. That's pro preoception. I've got some links for you for those of you that want to dig right into this. It's fascinating stuff. The groundbreaking book how emotions are made by Lisa Feldman backe tells the details of constructed emotions and it's a must read for a complete understanding of this. It's also available, by the way, on my favorite book site, which is scribbed in it. You'll also have the notion that there is a universal recognition of facial expressions with specific emotions. All of its going to be blown away. This construction of our emotions does happen extremely quickly and we are most often unaware that we are in fact constructing emotions because it's beneath our conscious perception. But we can all tune ourselves to better notice and thus interrupt any rapid response with deliberate thoughts and choice. So, having turned the conception that emotions are triggered and not under your control on its head. Let's just turn you inside out whilst we're here. Okay, see, Barrett's book provides the detailed neuroscience behind this, but it is best summarized in Malcolm Claudwe was truly excellent talking to strangers. And if you haven't had the chance yet, do get the audio book. It sets a new standard for audiobooks. And this thing is...

...called the friends fallacy. If you've ever watched an episode of friends, and who hasn't, but if you've ever watched it with the sound off, you can very easily deduce what's going on and how each character feels. In the sea, the actors blatantly and with exaggeration display the universal emotions on their faces and their bodies. Only there are no universal signs and many people deliberately hide their emotions in real life. That's Darwin's theory and, more importantly, for everyone arrested by the police or FBI, especially in the USA, that's Paul Eckman's theory of universal expressions of emotion. Their wrong. The next time you see someone frowling, frowning or curling their lip, don't be too hasty to jump to conclusions about their feelings. Well, this means is that you and I need to choose how to respond to situations and other people. Heck, we need to choose our reactions to what happens inside of ourself. We need some control. Now, if I may, I'm going to take a little Christian thought aside by because I, as a born again Christian and as a behavior on neuroscientist, I find these new findings absolutely fascinating and interestingly. Lisa Film and Barrett is culturally Jewish, but she is a self proclaimed atheist and in parts of her book she disdains the idea that we are created in God's image, with a spirit all soul, claiming that put paid the idea with the evolution of it. Meantime, the research points out that our brains have not evolved from a priorate or Lizard, as Darwin suggests. The idea that emotions are constructed and that all our thinking can be brought under control, captive to the obedience of Christ, to Corinthian temphile, implies that we do have free will, whereas the disproven theories that our brain makes a decision based on emotional triggers before we are conscious of it seriously undermined the realization of that free will, and the book of proverbs is filled with wisdom that shows us how to make better choices in life, as does ECCLESIASTES, how the oldest book...

...in the Bible, job and Christians know that we can cut all our cares and anxiety on him in one Peter Five seven. It seems that neuroscience is slowly catching up with the truth of the Bible. Okay, sir, get back Holpin, choose if I'm not in control of the situation. There are many things in life that you are unable to control, and everything outside of you, everything in inside of you, is within your control, as long as it's yours and it's not a cancer. Shut there are some things that happen inside that at this moment, you cannot control. For example, I had a massive heart attack on July Fourth, two thousand and fourteen and eleven and thirty three in the morning. I wasn't able to control it at the time. That is true, if only I had taken action earlier to prevent it, if never thought about first signalantes. Eating healthy, cat fit, maintain weight, not eat fatty food, avoid undue stress, choices have consequences, and bad choices tend to have bad consequences. Now I make better choices. You're not in control of your boss's mood when you need to spend more project or delay in order or miss the monthly target, but you can choose a different approach to them that might work. You cannot control the storm clouds spoiling your wedding day, but you can choose to have a tent on stand by just in case. You may think that you cannot control your stress or anger in the moment, but you can. It may take cracks and it may take a moment or two, but you can see. What we need is a sense of control. Psychologists refer to this as a problem of your locus of control. This is the belief that you, as opposed to external voices beyond your influence, have control over events in your life. Being at cause is having an internal blokers of control, whilst being at effect is having an external locus of control. Become aware of how you tend to view situations and ask people who know you well. I've got two quick questions for you. Firstly, do you tend to blame everyone and everything else for every misfortune...

...or do you tend to blame yourself? Second Question. Do you think that everything good is because you are brilliant and in control, or do you attribute your success to others? Now, do be especially aware if you think everything successful is because of you and every failure is someone else's fault. So, going beyond resilience and wellbeing, well organizations and HR teams took a lot about improving resilience and well being. These days, the enforced virtualization of work in two thousand and twenty and the slur emergence of the hybrid workplace is costing a lot of mental stress. Resilience gives youth capacity to deal with ongoing stress, adapt efficiently to changing situations, cope with work and bounce back from setbacks. When you are in a state of well being at work, you're able to develop your potential be productive and creative. You're able to build positive relationships with others and make meaningful contributions. Choosing to be at cause is the inflection point of these critical abilities. And you choose to be a cause, you are choosing to use your creativity to experiment with possible solutions to overcome obstacles or challenges. That's as improving your personal wellbeing by learning each time from success and failure and resiliently trying an alternative solution until you achieve for desired results. To reinforce your choice, celebrate, even a quick fist bump, a secret nod to yourself. Yeah, all of this will give you an extra dopamin spike, and that will help you consolidate your learning and memory of what works well and what doesn't work so well, further enhancing your wellbeing and resilience. Choosing to be at effect, and it is your choice, is the moment you I'm decided that either your fear of the future or some regret you have in your past has already decided your future failure. Thus, you avoid obstacles or adapt until you somehow get beyond them and achieve less than desired results. Repeat this enough and your resilience melts away and your wellbeing turns into sickness and chronic disorders.

As I say, it's your choice and the choice you make matters a great deal. Okay, John, so hound do I do it? Well, I'm going to share too super neuroscience based brain eggs that will give you the power to choose to be at cause. If not every time, then most of the time they are. Advantage Act number two, the secret power of the pause, and advantage at number three. WHO's your caddy? There are five steps and with practice, the first two will take you four to five seconds. Steps three to five, three to five minutes. Step one is to become aware that you are facing a challenge, your obstacle, and reacting to it. You may say, John, that's obvious. Well, sometimes it isn't. You've seen something, heard something, felt something, tasted something or smelted it's always your senses. Step two. Take one deep breath, as deep and long as time allows. So step one, just become aware there's a challenge, there's an obstacle. You are reacting. Now take one deep breath, as deep and as long as time allows, in through the nose and out through the mouth. That will reduce court is off as well. Yes, your brain may well be ahead of you already, after all this busy predicting what's going to happen next, and you are already adjusting your body budget for the predicted future. Adrenalin to run or find a dose of courts or some cito kinds to fight pathogens, increase heart rate. All of that is okay, because all of this activity needs energy and it needs more oxygen. So simultaneously you are exerting a little more control of your brains choices and thinking about them. To step one, become aware. Step to, take one deep breath. Step three, you choose to be a cause for your response, even if you choose to react and avoid the obstacle, you are choosing. So please do reflect on your choice and consider if, maybe, perhaps, there might have been a better way, which leads me to hack number three. Who's your step for? Follow the links I've got in the show notes, by the way, on hack to and hack three will give you a lot more detail how to do this in some steps detail. Learn about this tremendous tool. Who's your cadey is a very, very...

...powerful Tom that will improve your decision making for every decision you have to me for now, whether you choose to take action and overcome the challenge or you choose to react and avoid or adapt, now is the time you can branch back to cause, reflect on the situation, reflect on your choice and consider what happened from your point of view. Number one, number two, the point of view of the other party, because most challenges do involve another human. Three, a third party who was connected to the challenge, perhaps your boss. Not about it. They don't have to be there. A connected a fourth and external person, somebody you love, like or admire, your mentor your wise coach or just a friend. Five, think about it, see it from their point of view and learn what they advise you to do. And, of course, all of this is your own perceptible mind. Step of five rents and repeat. Pausing alone will change your life. And yes, this is a process others call mindfulnus do it often. Before long, you will steadily shift to be more at court your line and choices, and other people will begin to take no. Yes, they may even do what happened to you. Teach them this, and one day the world will be filled with people who take responsibility and accountability for their lives and the lives of those around them, and the world will be a much, much better place to be. Living that life, you're on your way to true joy at work. Thanks, I've been John Ka, the greatly blessed. Enjoy put this into practice. You will find it unbelievably powerful and let me know how you get on with it. By fin out. Thanks for listening to this edition of the advantage podcast. I've been your host, Dr John K do get in touch leadership Advantagecom by phone out and be greatly blessed.

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